1- Summer Fridays. I resent everyone who gets to enjoy them, and am angry I am not a part of that club.
2- Cats. Even if I love you, I’m judging you for having one. #sorryimnotsorry
3- Spilling on a white shirt. Fairly certain the color attracts falling condiments, drips from ice cream cones, coffee… (as I write this I realize the real problem might be that I spend too much time eating).
4- June gloom, turned July gloom, turned what the eff summer? Get it together, this is California.
5- Hi, it’s August 1st. Remember when that meant you actually spent the last 2 months enjoying summer? Then adulthood hit, and your life turned dark.
6- Remembering the days of overtime pay.
7- Needing to get your hair did, then not getting it colored because in another month so, it will “look ombre.”
8- Instagram pictures of vacation. Betch, I’m at work while you drink a piña colada.
9- When people don’t wear shoes in public places. Just one word: why?
10- Pizza. Not because it’s bad, but because one slice is never enough.
And, in a Pancake Sundays first, some guest contributions:
11- When it’s time to wash the sheets and you ask your husband not to make the bed, and he responds with, “why do we need to wash the sheets?”
12- Men can drink a ½ case of beer and eat whatever they want and still fit into everything. Then, they ask you why you are so crabby when you’re already feeling a bit bloated and your fat jeans don’t make it up past your calves. I’m pissed because I ate the salad and fat free ice cream and you ate the pizza & beer, you shit.
(p.s. feel free to send me your #RealTalk, too!)