Because Adam and I have been married for ONE YEAR on May 16, and that basically makes us marriage experts (lolz), I thought it was time to bring in the big guns for this post. Drum-roll please … introducing, Mr. Zabel-Wirdak!
We’re definitely not perfect, and we’ve got a ways to go with this “forever” thing, but we’ve come a long way in the last [almost] 365 days. And one year is something to be proud of, damn it. So let’s get into year 1.
A: You won’t agree on everything and that’s okay.
V: Having gotten hitched in our mid-twenties, Adam and I are super young to be married by New York(er) standards. As such, we’ve both always felt like most of the people we meet in NYC smile and congratulate us on our wedding, yet silently doubt we’ll survive the long haul. Before we got married last year, a woman I worked with at the time told me “being married is the most underappreciated thing in this city – but when you find your person, it’s also the best thing you’ll ever do.” And, she was right.
Now that we’re married, we fight most often about:
V: Family. Hands down.
A: Family issues and me forgetting things… probably me not helping out with planning trips, too (although I do plan most of them).
My favorite memory from the last year was:
A: This one has to be a tie. The wedding + the honeymoon. The wedding feels a little surreal looking back since we planned so long for that big day but it went by so fast. Everyone says that your wedding flies by and that is 100% true. Victoria and I made plans to stay together as much as possible on that day so that we could enjoy everything side by side – and it made such a difference. We were able to spend time with everyone that attended our celebration – but also have time one on one, too. Now, every time I think back to our wedding, I think back to everything we experienced together.
The honeymoon was amazing in a totally different way. It was the first time we had traveled internationally together and for such a long amount of time. Coming off the high of our wedding, we were able to enjoy everything that we did and be totally in the moment. Having a significant amount of time for our honeymoon also meant that we didn’t have to stress about doing too much in too little time – we were able to truly relax and enjoy being together. The whole trip was so much fun and so seemingly stress-less (even though not everything went according to plan), it felt like we were kids just playing around the whole time.
V: Our wedding day (duh)! Aside from that, I loved our honeymoon. May 2016 was such a whirlwind month – planning the wedding from New York, spending the week before in California getting everything in order, then actually tying the knot – and our honeymoon was the first time we were able to sit back and just enjoy one another and take it all in. The first night, once we landed in Athens and cleared customs, we hopped in a cab and our song (Eric Clapton/”You Look Wonderful Tonight”) started playing on the radio (in English!). It was magically serendipitous, and the perfect start to an amazing trip.
It makes my husband/wife crazy when I:
V: Break the ice with strangers (and non-strangers) by telling everyone this is a good first marriage. I’M JOKING, ADAM.
(Adam’s answer: When Victoria freaks out and loses her temper over something so insignificant that I can’t even believe we’re arguing about it, like when I have to use the bathroom in the morning and she wants to do her makeup).
A: When I *conveniently forget* things I’ve either done or said in the past that eventually come up again and get me into trouble (such as insuring the wedding rings). Selective memory doesn’t even being to describe it.
(Victoria’s answer: When Adam refuses to turn off his alarm in the morning and it starts going off an hour before we need to get up. Though now that I’ve read his answer, what he said also makes me nuts.)
The best thing about being married is:
V: Having a partner you love and respect more than anything in the world that you get to share this wild ride with. And, joint checking accounts. (Just kidding …)
A: That everything is different and nothing is different at the same time. We love each other the same as we always have, yet somehow that’s grown and evolved into something deeper and richer.